#p

The only funny part about Colonial Dunsboro is maybe it's too authentic, but for all the wrong reasons. This whole crowd of losers and nutcases who hide out here because they can't make it in the real world, in real jobs — isn't this why we left England in the first place? To establish our own alternate reality. Weren't the Pilgrims pretty much the crackpots of their time? For sure, instead of just wanting to believe something different about God's love, the losers I work with want to find salvation through compulsive behaviors. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#funny

You know, Ham," Breeze noted. "The only funny thing about your jokes is how often they lack any humor whatsoever. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#p- #funny

The albatross hit the top and canted her soft belly to the storm, and made a screaming banked peel-out downwind and over the other side. I don't know if anyone else on the ship saw her. To me, she was a visitation. Not harbinger or annunciation, but a simple reminder of a wold that worked, that was at home with itself and friends with storm. ↗

— Peter Heller

#conservation #page- #home

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well". From: "More Maxims of Mark ↗

— Mark Twain

#procrastination #humor

I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead." "Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#demons #growing-up #humor #jace-wayland #luke

Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on? ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#semantics #suspicion #humor

It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them! ↗

— Friedrich Nietzsche

#philosophy #humor

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? ↗

— Albert Einstein

#human #humor #philosophy #stupidity #humor

I’d said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #paranormal-romance #rose #urban-fantasy #vampire

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#perspective #science #humor