#parody

No,” said the figure. “You seriously don’t recognize me?” I looked at him closely: the pale face, the cape, the red eyes, the ridiculously large fangs. I couldn’t place him. “Um, do I know you from work?” I strained to remember if he was one of my co-workers. I strained to remember if I had a job. “Goodness gravy, Belle—I sit next to you everyday in English!” “I’m sorry—every face at school kind of blends into one conglomerate dull face except for the face of Edwart Mullen, the love of my life. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #life

Excuse me,” he said, hoping I would fall in love with him or something. “Your bag is in my way.” I knew it. He was totally the “your-bag-is-in-my-way” type. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #love

It is old age, rather than death, that is to be contrasted with life. Old age is life's parody, whereas death transforms life into a destiny: in a way it preserves it by giving it the absolute dimension. Death does away with time. ↗

— Simone de Beauvoir

#age #away #contrasted #death #destiny

You can parody almost anything. ↗

— Bruce McCall

#anything #parody #you

Oh, and it’s also Reaming Day, the day where the kids between the ages of twelve to eighteen are chosen to participate in the Hunger But Mainly DeathGames, which, as you might expect from the name, is a tournament in which kidsfight to the death, and occasionally experience hunger. ↗

— Authors of Nightlight

#parody #age

Then I had another one of my well-researched epiphanies. His constant use of Purell, his love of video games, his lack of friends, planet gazing, and flail-run. “You’re a zombie,” I gasped. “No. I’m not,” he said. I went back to the vampire theory. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #vampires #zombies

I knew my dad would insist on carrying my twelve bags into the house all by himself, so I ran ahead to my room. It looked familiar. Four walls and a ceiling, just like my old room in Phoenix! Leave it to my dad to find little ways to make me feel at home. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #home

We trekked onwards until the road came to an abrupt stop in the middle of a field. A car rambled up, stopped, and made a twelve-point turn. I skipped to the middle of the field and continued skipping around and around. Never had I felt freer. Never had I belted The Sound of Music louder. It was beautiful. There were glorious weeds everywhere, and those yellow flowers that when you blow on them disappear into white flakes. It was magical. And yet, it looked strangely familiar. “Is this my backyard?” I asked. Edwart stood, leaning against a tree in the woods bordering the meadow. “No, Belle. We’re at least five minutes from your house. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #beauty

Mission motto, sir," said Carrot cheerfully. "Morituri Nolumus Mori. Rincewind suggested it." "I imagine he did," said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard coldly. "And would you care to give us a colloquial translation, Mr Rincewind?" "Er..." Rincewind hesitated, but there really was no escape. "Er... roughly speaking, it means, 'We who are about to die don't want to', sir. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#cowardice #humor #parody #imagination

I learned that it's okay to feel the way I do: that my life has no meaning unless I have a boyfriend. A real man is like the perfect vampire-boy and all the perfect guys in Twue Wuv. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#anti-twilight #dark-humor #drugs #gluttony #heroin