#pen

It's a penis," Margo said, "in the same sense that Rhode Island is a state: it may have an illustrious history, but it sure isn't big. ↗

— John Green

#humor

If somebody tells me what to do, I will do my best not to do it. ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#funny #humorous #independence #funny

There's my baby!" I cried, quite carried away, "There's my poochiekins!" ... "Sadie," My dad said firmly, "Please do not refer to the devourer of souls as 'poochiekins'. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#children-s #humor #mythology #serpent-in-the-shadows #humor

God save King Pendragon, May his reign long drag on, God save the King. Send him most gorious, Great and uproarious, Horrible and hoarious, God save our King. ↗

— T. H. White

#classic #humor #pendragon #humor

...You have any suggestions, make them. I'm in charge but humble. No need to salute when you see me." Fraser said, "Mind if we snicker every once in a while behind your back?" "Hell, no," I said. "Everyone else does. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#humor #leadership #spenser #humor

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #opening-lines #funny

Roger said, 'I don't know about having a shrink around all the time. Are you analyzing me right now?' Sophie rolled her eyes. 'How original. No, I'm not analyzing you. It'd take a whole team of shrinks to figure out your crazy ass, and I simply don't have the time or energy. ↗

— Jennifer Lane

#new-job #psychologist #romance #romantic-suspense #with-good-behavior

I pulled in a soft breath. My lungs were starving, crying out for air. I lay still, and a cough tickled at the back of my throat. It always happens when you're hiding, a cough, a sneeze, something. It's stupid. The body decides to screw around with you, even though it knows being quiet is the only way it's going to go on living. ↗

— Lilith Saintcrow

#humor

You ever had a hickey? I want to give you a hickey." "Karl, we're not fourteen!" "Don't bloody care. I was in love with you when I was fourteen -- your neck owes me a hickey." (Karl & Elena) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#elena #humor #humorous #karl #paranormal-romance

Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope. ↗

— Tina Fey

#nasa #penis #humor