#pi

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#housekeeping #humor #humor

I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa. ↗

— Britney Spears

#dumb #fish #humor #japan #stupid

I was just kidding, shuck-face," Minho said. "Let's all go over there. She could have an army of psycho girl ninjas hiding in that shack of hers." "Psycho girl ninjas?" Newt repeated, his voice showing he was surprised, if not annoyed, by Minho's additude. ↗

— James Dashner

#epic #humor #ninjas #humor

A singer can shatter glass with the proper high note," he said, "but the simplest way to break glass is simply to drop it on the floor. ↗

— Anne Rice

#humor #lestat #logic #luxury #meaning

She made an impatient noise. "By the Angel, you don't know anything about your kid, do you? Do you even really know how vampires are made?" "Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much ... ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-fallen-angels #funny #humor #isabelle-lightwood #simon-lewis

...if you spent all your time being protected, you never got to find out anything new. ↗

— Sage Blackwood

#inspiration #inspirational

If you want good luck; you must go out there and search for that luck!! Because luck is waiting for you to look for it. ↗

— Temitope Owosela

#happiness #opportunity #success #existentialism

Bean finds the best apple in our tree and hands it up to me. "You know what this tastes like when you first bite into it?" she asks. "No, what?" "Blue sky." "You're zoomed." "You ever eat blue sky?" "No," I admit. "Try it sometime," she says. "It's apple-flavored. ↗

— Rodman Philbrick

#humor #inspirational #life #obvious #humor

It's about time! It's supposed to be a ritual, not a marathon. ↗

— Karen Chance

#humor #romance #supernatural #vampire #humor

And if you don’t think I can hold my own against all those eighteenth-century mortals you were out tagging, then you’re a fool, Casanova.” ... “Oh, yes, I know all about you.” He went still. “What are you talking about?” “I was alive back then. And all the Lore heard about the ruthless warlord brothers from Estonia. The general, the scholar, the enigma, and . . . the manwhore. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#fey #humor #immortals-after-dark #kresley-cole #paranormal-romance