#po

It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #oscar-wilde #truth #humor

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #misattributed #spoonerism #wordplay #humor

Percy?" Annabeth gripped his arm. "Oh, bad," he muttered. "Bad. Bad." He looked across the table at Frank and Hazel. "You guys remember Polybotes?" "The giant who invaded Camp Jupiter," Hazel said. "The anti-Poseidon you whacked in the head with a Terminus statue. Yes, I think I remember ↗

— Rick Riordan

#camp-jupiter #hazel-levesque #heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson

Insurgents throughout Iraq continue to threaten our efforts and pose a danger to stability in the region. They fight not for their country, but rather against ours. ↗

— Paul Gillmor

#continue #country #danger #efforts #fight

With respect to the requirement of art, the probable impossible is always preferable to the improbable possible. ↗

— Aristotle

#possibilities #probabilities #art

A study in scarlet, eh? Why shouldn't we use a little art jargon? There's the scarlet thread of murder running through the colourless skein of life, and our duty is to unravel it, and isolate it, and expose every inch of it. ↗

— Arthur Conan Doyle

#colour #exposure #isolation #jargon #life

I really believe, or want to believe, really I am nuts, otherwise I'll never be sane. ↗

— Allen Ginsberg

#poetry #sanity #humor

I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me a podium and a microphone. I’ll also need a screen, a projector, and a laser pointer. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#errors #funny #humor #laser #lecture

Percy was getting tired of water. If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#percy-jackson #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #poseidon #the-heroes-of-olympus #the-mark-of-athena

For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. ↗

— H.L. Mencken

#humor #humor