#po

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#better #duh #i #just #men

During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#bush #debate #during #each #edwards

In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#cleveland #fit #forward #however #legislation

Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#bush #changed #difference #hasn #his

The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#army #asked #bidding #cheney #competitive

Yesterday, the Pentagon warned U.S. reporters that they should get out of Baghdad as soon as possible because the U.S. could attack at any time. Then the Pentagon added, 'Whatever you do, don't tell Geraldo.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#any #attack #baghdad #because #could

Human nature doesn't include all human beings. There are human beings who are indifferent to politics, religion, virtually anything. ↗

— Conor Cruise O'Brien

#beings #human #human beings #human nature #include

There is always some universal proportion, but along with that there are some places where special things happen. Ireland, for example. I've always felt it's interesting to play there. Maybe they just drink more than anybody else. ↗

— Ed O'Brien

#always #anybody #drink #else #example

The majority of the members of the Irish parliament are professional politicians, in the sense that otherwise they would not be given jobs minding mice at crossroads. ↗

— Flann O'Brien

#given #irish #jobs #majority #members

Our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown has given the Government's support to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill. It is difficult to imagine a single piece of legislation which, more comprehensively, attacks the sanctity and dignity of human life than this particular Bill. ↗

— Keith O'Brien

#bill #brown #difficult #dignity #given