#puberty

When people are kids their parents teach them all sorts of stuff, some of it true and useful, some of it absurd hogwash (example of former: don't crap your pants; example of latter: Columbus discovered America). This is why puberty happens. The purpose of puberty is to shoot an innocent and gullible child full of nasty glandular secretions that manifest in the mind as confusion, in the innards as horniness, upon the skin as pimples, and on the tongue as cocksure venomous disbelief in every piece of information, true or false, gleaned from one's parents since infancy. The net result is a few years of familial hell culminating in the child's exodus from the parental nest, sooner or later followed by a peace treaty and the emergence of the postpubescent as an autonomous, free-thinking human being who knows that Columbus only trespassed on an island inhabited by our lost and distant Indian relatives, but who also knows not to crap his pants. ↗

— David James Duncan

#family

What we ought to see in the agonies of puberty is the result of the conditioning that maims the female personality in creating the feminine. ↗

— Germaine Greer

#creating #female #feminine #ought #personality

I began drinking alcohol at the age of thirteen and gave it up in my fifty sixth year; it was like going straight from puberty to a mid-life crisis. ↗

— George Montgomery

#alcohol #began #crisis #drinking #fifty

Children can write poetry and then, unless they're poets, they stop when reach puberty. ↗

— Dennis Potter

#poetry #poets #puberty #reach #stop

Other than dying, I think puberty is probably about as rough as it gets. ↗

— Rick Springfield

#dying #gets #i #i think #other

Puberty hit me very hard, and I basically had no use for school once I discovered the guitar. ↗

— Rick Springfield

#discovered #guitar #had #hard #hit

You see, my version of why anyone would want to become an actor is that it's some psychological fixation, something that happened in puberty that you didn't outgrow in time, which is normal. Nevertheless, if you make it a profession, it can be really neurotic. ↗

— Christoph Waltz

#anyone #become #happened #make #neurotic

So Henry," Puck said as he kicked off his shoes and propped his smelly feet on the kitchen table. "I was wondering what you can tell me about puberty." Henry turned pale and stammered. Sabrina wanted to crawl under the table and die. ↗

— Michael Buckley

#puberty #humor

When I was 14 years old, I decided I could cook. It was either that or puberty. ↗

— Dom DeLuise

#could #decided #either #i #old

I was really lucky that I came to puberty at a time when music and politics were completely intertwined. ↗

— Bob Geldof

#completely #i #i came #intertwined #lucky