#r

Damn, this op has been like a fucking Love Boat episode. ↗

— Suzanne Brockmann

#romantic-suspense #humor

Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #humor

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor

Gintoki: Listen, I don’t care what you guys do around the universe. This is my sword, and anywhere it can reach is my country! Bastards who come in and try to mess with my things…whether it be a general, whether it be space pirates, whether it be a meteorite…I’ll destroy them! ↗

— Hideaki Sorachi

#manga #humor

Fine!' she snapped, the desperation to have him growing exponentially now. 'I missed you. Only you. No man could ever make me feel like you do. I'm ruined for all others. I renamed all my vibrators after you and none of them get me off like you can. Happy now?' His eyes glazed for a second. '*All* your vibrators?' -Convicted ↗

— Dee Tenorio

#humor #romance #humor

If she happens to fall, I'll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards. ↗

— J.A. Redmerski

#humor

Hey, precious.” A pretty brunette slid to Tristan’s side out of the blue. Precious? Who does she think she is? Gollum? ↗

— Tatiana Vila

#humor

This may be impossible for you to believe," Colt said in a hushed voice, "but as recently as last year, I was a hyper, naive-albeit extremely good-looking-minor myself." "And now you're a persistent, outdoorsy, unshaven man-boy who cavorts with clones of your former self?" Colt plucked a round stone out of the water. "I prefer boy-man, but the rest of the sentence sounded fairly accurate. ↗

— Karsten Knight

#humor #man #humor

The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #memory #metaphor #recollection #humor

My dad told me that when I was born my cheeks were so fat the doctors didn't know which end to spank. ↗

— Sean Covey

#humor #humor