#r

I'm an amateur at life. I'll let you know when I go pro. ↗

— D. VonThaer

#life #humor

Why do those hard choices in life—you know, the ones you make because they're the right damn thing to do—always feel like you've just been kicked in the balls? Dark Desires at Midnight - Arran ↗

— Jessica Lee

#humor

Diazapam (that's valium), temazepam, lithium, ECT, HRT - how long must I stay on this stuff? Don't give me anymore! ↗

— Morrissey

#life #lyrics #music #humor

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall take flack from both sides."- Unofficial UN Motto ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#diplomacy #humor #motto #humor

Does it not occur to people that I might be artificial by nature? ↗

— Maurice Ravel

#creativity #humor #self-knowledge #humor

Thank God Roxane Coss had not fallen in love with one of the Russians. She doubted they could make it up the stairs without stopping for a cigarette and telling at least one loud story that no one could understand. ↗

— Ann Patchett

#russians #humor

Sunlight played along the River Cam. People in punts happily shouted at each other to fuck off. Thin natural scientists who had spent months locked away in their rooms growing white and fishlike, emerged blinking into the light. Couples walking along the bank got so excited about the general wonderfulness of it all that they had to pop inside for an hour. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor

Why do we have to get up at five? The war's over, for God's sake. ↗

— J. D. Salinger

#humor #humor

Many respectable physicists said that they weren't going to stand for this -- partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sort of parties. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#physicists #humor

There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches? ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor