#r

Jane: "Missy was not so subtly reminding me that she had done something nice for me and here i was being rude when all she was asking me to do was attend a nice party. This was the way southern women worked all peaches & cream laced with arsenic. ↗

— Molly Harper

#humorous #jane #vampire #humor

For those who like that sort of thing," said Miss Brodie in her best Edinburgh voice, "That is the sort of thing they like. ↗

— Muriel Spark

#truth #humor

Right," said Fat Charlie conversationally. "You realize, of course, that this means war." It was the traditional war cry of a rabbit when pushed too far. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#war #humor

And I like his conceit. He's so conceited he's actually humble, the crazy bastard. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#humor

- I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black! - No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

Sir if I was your daughter I would wait until this train started again and throw myself in front of it! ↗

— Kirby Larson

#humor

Why not? It's true. I don't even laugh for anyone but you." She hesitated, for that one. Did he really mean that? Surely not. "Tim seems like a really funny guy." She tried, but all it did was make his mouth form that mean line. "Tim pees in the kitchen sink." "Well, okay. I could atleast promise not to do that, but even so- ↗

— Charlotte Stein

#funny

Don't pick up hitchhikers!"- D. Adams ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#science-fiction #humor

I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six Psalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a gingerbread-nut to eat, or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he says: ‘Oh! the verse of a Psalm! angels sing Psalms,’ says he; ‘I wish to be a little angel here below;’ he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant piety. ↗

— Charlotte Brontë

#humor