#ran

When she offered me a spot of tea, I said, “No thanks, I’ve already got a spot of tea on my shirt.”
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hospitality #humor #random #random-thought

I'm still looking for books about them, as well as I am used to feed food every day. ↗

— Pet Torres

#paranormal-romance #witch #witches #food

[French] Parents see it as their job to bring the child around to appreciating this [food]. They believe that just as they must teach a child how to sleep, how to wait, and how to say bonjour, they must teach her how to eat. ↗

— Pamela Druckerman

#france #parenting #food

Brick” could be the name of a restaurant. But so could “Blah,” “Gruel,” and “A Taste of the Gulag.”
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #food #gruel #gulag

The French have the right respect for dogs--in France we chiens get to go to lunch and dinner anytime, anywhere. ↗

— Sheron Long

#dog-trots-globe #food #france #humor #food

When someone says so-and-so’s opinionated, what’s that mean? Aren’t we all opinionated? Show me one person with no opinions, and I’ll show you a bowl of Jell-O—or a politician, whichever one’s dumber.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #politicians #politics #random

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 
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— Jarod Kintz

#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #noon #random #random-thought

His Majesty needs a can-I girl anyway. And I'm not it." "A can-I girl?" Andrea frowned. I leaned back. " ` Can I fetch you your food, Your Majesty? Can I tell you how strong and mighty you are, Your Majesty? Can I pick out your fleas, Your Majesty? Can I kiss your ass, Your Majesty? Can I . . ." It dawned on me that Raphael was sitting very still. Frozen, like a statue, his gaze fixed on the point above my head. "He's standing behind me, isn't he?" Andrea nodded slowly. "Technically it should be `may I,'" Curran said, his voice deeper than I remembered. "Since you're asking permission. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#beast-lord #curran #kate-daniels #raphael #food

I grew up listening to Queen. They were no stranger to throwing in the unexpected and something a little more dramatic. ↗

— Carrie Underwood

#grew #i #listening #little #more