#ran

And just then Damon stepped out of the coat closet, and at the same time Aunt Maggie tripped him neatly and said, “Bathroom door beside you,” and picked up a vase and hit the rising Damon over the head with it. Hard. ↗

— L.J. Smith

#elena #fiction #paranormal #romance #vampire

I was...a journalist...though my typical beat was freelancing articles on Canadian politics, which never included any mention of demonic phenomena, though it might explain the rise of the neoconservatives. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#journalist

Come on, it’s an American tradition. Apple soup? Mom’s homemade chicken pie?' She chuckled in spite of herself, then winced. 'It’s apple pie and Mom’s homemade chicken soup. But you didn’t do badly, for a start. ↗

— L.J. Smith

#damon #elena #fiction #paranormal #romance

If natural selection can create creationists it can manage a caterpillar with a face on its arse. ↗

— Zane Stumpo

#douglas-adams #humour #multiverse #parallel-universe #quantum

Maxim 10: Sometimes the only way out is through... through the hull. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries ↗

— Howard Tayler

#rules-to-live-by #sci-fi #ship #subverted-saying #violence

And you came back to Lyrian?" Galloran said in disbelief. "Believe it or not, I came through the same hippopotamus that brought me here the first time. Jumped into the tank on purpose. I wanted to keep others from wasting their time pursuing the Word. And I couldn't ditch Rachel." Galloran smiled. "Truly, you are possessed by that species of madness that begets heroism. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #heroes #heroism #mull #rebellion

Discord is the great ill of mankind; and tolerance is the only remedy for it. ↗

— Voltaire

#philosophical

What have I become? My sweetest friend; everyone I know goes away in the end. And you could have it all: my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt. ↗

— Nine Inch Nails

#friend #hurt #loneliness #nothing #random

Back in my day, we died all the time, and we liked it! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #rick-riordan #the-son-of-neptune #heroes

You've known him how long?" Malcolm asked. "Since he was a small boy. I firs noticed him when he slipped into Master Chubb's kitchen to steal some pies." "So, what did you have to say to Will when you caught him stealing these pies? "Oh, I didn't let on I was there. We rangers can be very unobtrusive when we choose. I remained out of sight and watched him. I thought he might have potential to be a ranger." Halt said. Horace joined in "Why?" Halt answered carefully. "Because he was excellent at moving from cover to cover. Chubb entered 3 times and never noticed him. So i thought that if he could acheive that with no training, he would make a good ranger." "No" Horace spoke. "Thats not what I meant. Why were you hiding in the kitchen in the first place?" "I told you. I was watching Will to see if he had the potential to be a ranger." "Thats not what you said. You said that was the first time you noticed Will." "Does it matter?" "Not really. Were you hiding from chub yourself and Will just turned up by coincidence?" "And why would I be hiding from master Chubb in his own kitchen?" "Well, there were freshly made pies on the windowsill, and you like pies, don't you?" "Are you acusing me of trying to steal those pies?!?!" "No, of course not. I just thought i'd give you the opportunity to confess." After a pause, Halt continued. "You know, Horace, you used to be a most agreeable young man. Whatever happened to you?" "I've spent to much time around you, I suppose." And Halt had to admit that was probably true. ↗

— John Flanagan

#laugh-out-loud #ranger-s-apprentice #witty #excellence