#ran

This book would not have been made without the tireless mentoring and rare friendship of Christian Bok, Steven Collis and Nicole Markotic. ↗

— Jordan Scott

#fable #foible #mirror-stage #oughtobiography #stutterance

He kept quite for a minute or so but it felt like an hour. “That sounds like either you know a lot of diseased and ill people or they’re just ill or dead because of you.” “I know,” I said and felt like a monster. ↗

— Lili Frings

#love #paranormal #romance #young-adult #friendship

She blinked. "Hmm? Oh, don't care. What did Anubis look like to you?" "What did... he looked like a guy. So?" "A good-looking guy, or a slobbering dog-headed guy?" "I guess... Not the dog-headed guy." "I knew it!" Sadie pointed at me as if she'd won an argument. "Good-looking. I knew it!" And with a ridiculous grin, she spun around and skipped into the house. My sister, as I may have mentioned, is a little strange. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#strange #the-red-pyramid #funny

I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather, to have that "new car smell" all the time. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #leather #new-car-smell #strange

Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK. - Jane ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #insane-in-the-membrane #funny

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#funny

Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#drink #drinking #entrepreneur #entrepreneurship #funny

I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny-and-random #humor #sleep #funny

Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alexander-the-great #bizarre #caesar #conquer #funny

I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to participate in my choreographed dance routine, bring a football helmet and a half empty can of tuna (keeps the stray cats away, because I perform in a gritty, grimy downtown alley).
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cats #choreography #dance #dancing #day