#relations

For better or for worse, but not for lunch,... ↗

— Abigail Thomas

#marriage #relationships #humor

Okay, then, what was he like? Just give me something to go on so that I have a shot at him!' 'A shot at him? Are you on an elk hunt? ↗

— Sara Zarr

#humor #relationships #teenagers #humor

What's your favorite movie?...that should be our question. When we don't know what to say. Movies are a safe topic. What's wrong with the standard 'how's it going?' because all you get is 'Okay' or 'Fine', and then what? You're back where you started. It's a useless question. Like anyone is going to tell you how it's really going. ↗

— Lisa Schroeder

#humor

Baby, God ain't gonna bless you with another woman's husband, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. ↗

— Tracy L. Darity

#love #relationships #love

When you've been around as long as me, Lucy, you'll know that there are three types of sex... One - brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two - bedroom sex. Then number three - hallway sex, when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'Fuck you.'" - Lockie ↗

— Kathy Lette

#relationships #sex #love

Well, then-“ Before I can finish his lips are on mine fervently and I return his kiss as our mouths move together in a slow rhythm. I wrap my arms around his neck tightly. He grasps my face between both of his warm hands, then pulls back to look at me. You don’t know how happy you just made me, Gracie. I love you. I fucking love you! Yes I do because it’s the same feeling you give me. I love you so much Carter and I want to move in with you and see you every day and wake up next to you every morning. ↗

— Annie Brewer

#gracie #love #relationship #love

You mustn't stand about. Come home with me to dinner.’ ‘No.’ More shakes his head. ‘I would rather be blown around on the river and go home hungry. If I could trust you only to put food in my mouth – but you will put words into it. ↗

— Hilary Mantel

#humor #family

Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cats #chairs #dad #family #father

Grandpa had a good life, up until the day we slaughtered him and ate him. Honestly, he raised chickens, so he should have seen it coming.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #food #funny #grandpa #humor

I pictured Cupid sitting in a crappy little bar, drunk and depressed, while he moaned to the bartender, "That Jasmine Parks, gods, she pisses me off! Did you see what she just did? Totally blew off this immortal stud to play kiss-the-boo-boo with a fickle little rent-a-cop. Why? 'Cause she's the biggest chickenshit on the planet! I'm ready to toss my bow and pick up a bazooka! ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#relationships #immortality