#relations

That night at the Brooklyn party, I was playing the girl who was in style, the girl a man like Nick wants: the Cool Girl. Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#funny

I had a dream about you last night. The best day of my life was when I taught you how to juggle, but the best day of yours was when you taught someone else. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I loved her so much, but she vanished from my life. She didn’t just suddenly disappear, but she slowly began losing her opacity until eventually her transparency was 100%.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #life #love #relationships

Blankets on the other hand are incredibly needy as they are always trying to fill a “void”. Are a bit whorish in that the instant you walk away from them in less than a minute they’ll be all over someone else, and the moment you actually need them they’re nowhere to be found. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

He had known so much about her once -what she thought, how she felt, the reasons for her actions. And now he only knew that he loved her, and all the other knowledge seemed passing from him just as he needed it most. ↗

— E.M. Forster

#relationships #love

It was then that my gaze happened to fall on the bookcase, on the gap there, where the old paperback of "Nine Stories" had fallen flat. "Where's the thing?" I said. "What thing?" "The mesh. My mesh." She shrugged. "I tossed it." "Tossed it? Where? What do you mean?" In the next moment I was in the kitchen, flipping open the lid of the trash can, only to find it empty. "You mean outside?" I shouted. "In the dumpster?" When I came thundering back into the room, she still hadn't moved. "Jesus, what were you thinking? That was mine. I wanted that. I wanted to keep it." Her lips barely moved. "It was dirty. ↗

— T.C. Boyle

#dysfunctional-relationships #passive-aggression #shaming #home

She preferred imaginary heroes to real ones, because when tired of them, the former could be shut up in the tin kitchen till called for, and the latter were less manageable. ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#imaginary #real #relationships #louisa-may-alcott

I was trying to decide if you still had free will as a wolf. If I was a terrible person for planning to drug my girlfriend and drag her back to my house to keep in the basement. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#relationships #sam-roth #humor

Never love someone beneath your level of evolution. If you want a monkey, you can visit one at your local zoo. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#humor #infatuation #love #relationships #humor

The last excuse that I'll claim, I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl. ↗

— Ron Pope

#couples #heartbroken #love #relationships #love