#sale

As a salesman, it’s not enough to be able to sell a toilet to a man who’s got to pee. You’ve got to make him pay you for the privilege of pissing his pants. Don’t sell him a toilet. Don’t sell him pants. Sell him a privilege. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#privilege #salesman #sell #funny

Don't confuse efforts with results.... ↗

— C P Sennett

#sales #funny

Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#factories #funny #horses #humor #sales

Fake vitamin pills. Placebos. I sell them, because I sell hope.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#hope #humor #placebo #sale #salesman

Tomorrow I was supposed to have a meeting with a salesperson, who happened to be Orafoura. But something came up, so I called him and said, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but I have to cancel tomorrow.” To which he replied, “Cancel tomorrow! Who do you think you are, God? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#god #humor #orafoura #sales #funny

Not our logical faculty, but our imaginative one is king over us. I might say, priest and prophet to lead us to heaven-ward, or magician and wizard to lead us hellward. ↗

— Thomas Carlyle

#cyrus-salem #imagination

...You people don't know what the truth is! It's there, just under their bullshit, but you never look! That's what I hate most about this fucking city-- LIES ARE NEWS AND TRUTH IS OBSOLETE! ↗

— Warren Ellis

#life

I want vasopressin, washed caffeine, Jumpstart, ginkgo biloba, guarana, and any intelligence enhancer introduced in the last five years. ↗

— Warren Ellis

#intelligence

The problem: If you've an antique for sale, then, sad to relate, the world isn't your oyster. It's not that easy. Even if somebody gives you the National Gallery, your options are still very, very limited. Okay, you can sell the Old Masters, set up a trust, buy your favorite brewery. But that's strictly it. You're limited by honesty on one hand and law - that hobble of sanity - on the other. ↗

— Jonathan Gash

#greed #greedy #law #lovejoy #money

All questions of right to one side, I have never been able to banish the queasy inner suspicion that Israel just did not look, or feel, either permanent or sustainable. I felt this when sitting in the old Ottoman courtyards of Jerusalem, and I felt it even more when I saw the hideous 'Fort Condo' settlements that had been thrown up around the city in order to give the opposite impression. If the statelet was only based on a narrow strip of the Mediterranean littoral (god having apparently ordered Moses to lead the Jews to one of the very few parts of the region with absolutely no oil at all), that would be bad enough. But in addition, it involved roosting on top of an ever-growing population that did not welcome the newcomers. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#israel #israeli-palestinian-conflict #jerusalem #jews #mediterranean-basin