#satire

The past is an educational toy for the present. It should be discarded the moment its usefulness is outgrown. ↗

— Tom Morrison

#romance #satire #stock-market #education

The Open Road goes to the used-car lot. ↗

— Louis Simpson

#capitalism #freedom #frontier #individualism #liberalism

Dear Eloisa (said I) there’s no occasion for your crying so much about such a trifle. (for I was willing to make light of it in order to comfort her) I beg you would not mind it – You see it does not vex me in the least; though perhaps I may suffer most from it after all; for I shall not only be obliged to eat up all the Victuals I have dressed already, but must if Henry should recover (which however is not very likely) dress as much for you again; or should he die (as I suppose he will) I shall still have to prepare a Dinner for you whenever you marry any one else. So you see that tho perhaps for the present it may afflict you to think of Henry’s sufferings, yet I dare say he’ll die soon and then his pain will be over and you will be easy, whereas my Trouble will last much longer for work as hard as I may, I am certain that the pantry cannot be cleared in less than a fortnight ↗

— Jane Austen

#cooking #crying #food #grief #jane-austen

And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first! ↗

— Susan Kay

#funny #humor #ironic #irony #satire

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat? ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-humor #funny-satire #humor #humorist #humorous

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#satire #humor

She wore an A-line bridal gown with a V-shaped neckline while Apollo playing Bach's Air on the G string. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek #greek-mythology #humor #olympians #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians

Sex is mathematics. Individuality no longer an issue. What does intelligence signify? Define reason. Desire -- meaningless. Intellect is not a cure. Justice is dead. Fear, recrimination, innocence, sympathizing, guilt, waste, failure, grief, were things, emotions, that no one really felt any more. Reflection is useless, the world is senseless. Evil is its only permanence. God is not alive. Love cannot be trusted. Surface, surface, surface was all that anyone found meaning in...this was civilization as I saw it, colossal and jagged... ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#bret-easton-ellis #satire #intelligence

Cynicism is extremely contagious, and the most pious among us cannot long endure its potency. The gullible should be on their guard, however, since this endearing quality frequently masquerades as wit. ↗

— Mike Corbett

#demons #heaven #hell #intelligent-humor #irreverent-humor

Windmill or no windmill, he said, life would go on as it had always gone on--that is, badly. ↗

— George Orwell

#philosophy #satire #wisdom #life