#sex

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humorous #sex #humor

Daphne, whatever you could think of in your wildest imagination, there is a game for it and probably has been for a thousand years.' He pulled off his shirt and advanced on her. 'For example, there is the lovely lady taken up against the wall game. I'll show you how it is played. ↗

— Madeline Hunter

#humor #sex-games #imagination

The ability to make love frivolously is the chief characteristic which distinguishes human beings from the beasts. ↗

— Heywood Broun

#love

Because I want to have sex with him--and because that's sinful--I'm blushing and flushing furiously under his scrutinizing scrutiny. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#crime-fiction #drama #e-l-james #fifty-shades #fifty-shades-of-grey

The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone." Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way. ↗

— James Finn Garner

#funny #humor #little-red-riding-hood #politics #sexist

Bella,leave the aggressive stuff to me." My heart quirks in my chest. I may not like this guy but that sounded so hot. "Um..." Focus,focus. "What? ↗

— Jenny B. Jones

#hot #sexy #funny

I bet she likes it hard, from behind, probably likes to get spanked too. I mean, just look at her, she has a serious come-fuck-me-face. ↗

— Ida Løkås

#fuck #funny #humor #sex #slut

You must be a blast on long car rides.” “Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#funny #humor #michael #sarcasm #sex

Coveralls," I reply, and I know I'm no longer screening what's coming out of my mouth. He raises a eyebrow, amused yet again. "You wouldn't want to ruin your clothing." I gesture vaguely in the direction of his jeans. "I could always take them off." He smirks. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia #anastasia-steele #christian #christian-grey #e-l-james

It's funny, he said, have you ever thought that a girl's clothes cost more than the girl inside them? ↗

— Jean Rhys

#funny