#sex

With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#anal-sex #congress #funny #humor #politics

Even Tom Sawyer had a girlfriend and to talk about adults without talking about their sex drives is like talking about a window without glass. ↗

— Grace Metalious

#drives #even #girlfriend #glass #had

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to! ↗

— Al Franken

#humor #masturbation #sex #freedom

Sex drives the world and sex in on every human mind, be it a prophet or be it a saint, history has full of evidences. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#sex #humor

I can count all the lovers I've had on one hand...if I'm holding a calculator. ↗

— Sebastian Horsley

#humor #lovers #sebastian-horsley #sex #humor

I used to think that looking across a pillow into the fabulous face of Buster Keaton would be a more thrilling destiny than any screen career. ↗

— Anita Loos

#sex #stardom #humor

I don’t want to be your snack, your chew-toy, your fuck-buddy. Find a vampire to sink your fang into. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor #power #sex #vampires #humor

Studies show adolescent males often make decisions based on sex. Many fail to grow out of it. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#sex #humor

Let’s quit our jobs and fuck all day. ↗

— Cara McKenna

#humor #sex #humor

Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one’s groin greets each day with such a gala spectacle of physical optimism? ↗

— C.D. Payne

#humor #optimism #sex #teens #humor