#si

LUBOV. I'm quite sure there wasn't anything at all funny. You oughtn't to go and see plays, you ought to go and look at yourself. What a grey life you lead, what a lot you talk unnecessarily. ↗

— Anton Chekhov

#russian #true #funny

I want to save someone with a passionate embrace. I want to have a CPR romance. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #love #passion #romance

Boredom will continue to be an epidemic in the leisure class until public yawning is made profitable in the sick class. ↗

— Bauvard

#class #funny #humor #sickness #funny

Curse you Kakarrot! ↗

— Akira Toriyama

#funny #goku #kakarraot #rivals #vegeta

I always procrastinate. It allows me to do what I want now without sacrificing my goals for the future. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #goals #humor #procrastination #funny

Personal discovery is something intimates just don’t ask of one another. If a person could hide their deepest secrets from themselves, how can they be trusted to pass along rumors? ↗

— Bauvard

#gossip #humor #intimacy #secrets #self-actualization

А вот на подходе уже, если хотите знать, дяденьки, специальные пишущие машинки, пока еще только для нас, прозаиков. На этих машинках установлены электронные цензурные ограничители. Представляете? Печатаешь ты двумя пальцами «жопа», а на бумаге выходит: «окорока», «пятая точка», «афедрон» и уж в самом крайнем случае «ж» с тремя точками. ↗

— Arkady Strugatsky

#funny #funny

When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cats #curls #dance #dancing

Peaches found herself wondering if Mary, a tiny brunette with an unprepossessing manner and less than ‘stellar’ work ethics, had to play Where’s Waldo to find Steve’s dick beneath his gigantic waistline. ↗

— A.T. Hicks

#funny #outrageous-behavior #penis-size #funny

The big male gestured to a chair in the corner. "Mind if I sit?" She nodded her acquiescence. "Go right ahead. That chair has seen more tail than a rock star lately. ↗

— Elisabeth Staab

#funny-humor #siddoh #funny