#surreal

A brick could be used as a PRA, or Person Replacement Apparatus. Just give the brick a name, start talking to it, and before you know it you've got a friend for life. Say, do you want to brick swap? 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a symbol for the kind of life I’m trying to build. The question now is, what kind of life am I trying to build? Well, I guess I want stability, longevity, and I’d like it two stories, with the second story being fiction, or even pseudo nonfiction, if that makes sense in its nonsensicality. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a brick, and only highly functional on a bed. Or so I heard—not that I’d know from personal experience.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #strange #surreal #funny

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

Salmon swim against my stream of consciousness. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#salmon #surreal #change

A brick could be used as a Sexual Orientation Device. But I don’t need it, because I know my sexual orientation—north!
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to make the world safer for our children. Well, not our children, as I don't actually have any kids—but certainly your children. Skeptical? A brick could better protect your children than all the Federal government agencies combined.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I was rubbing the pieces of bacon like they were strands of a lover’s hair. Of course they weren’t, because all my exes had hair like scrambled eggs. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bacon #funny #humor #love #surreal

A blanket is a shield, blocking out the breeze, and an insulator, keeping in body heat.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny