#surreal

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#beards #children #dada #funny #funny-quotes

I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I thought you liked that shit.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I make love like I sell sausages to strange women. One at a time, and always covered with a condom (to keep the flies away). 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick and a blanket can be used as reasons to go on searching, when you’ve found all the obvious applications for the brick and the blanket—and immediately discarded them—but you lost the motivation to keep thinking, and you’ve lost hope that you will discover any new uses for them. Thus the brick and the blanket become symbols for creativity and perseverance. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to teach men how to dance, by learning balance. But a blanket could also teach men how to dance, by providing motivation to get good so they can get some under the covers later.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to bestow gratitude upon your favorite (or least favorite) politician. Let them know your approval level by giving them the gift that says both Thank You—and Fuck You.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Dive again and again into the river of uncertainty. Create in the dark, only then can you recognize the light. ↗

— Jyrki Vainonen

#artists #creativity #surrealism #writers #writing

I know I have this level of celebrity, of fame, international, national, whatever you want to call it, but it's a pretty surreal thing to think sometimes that you're in the middle of another famous person's life and you think to yourself, 'How the hell did I get famous? What is this some weird club that we're in?' ↗

— Kevin Costner

#call #celebrity #club #did #fame

It's really hard when a celebrity dies out of nowhere, 'cause it's very shocking... surreal. ↗

— Ashley Tisdale

#celebrity #dies #hard #nowhere #out

I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dead-language #death #eulogy #funeral #funny