#t

Like all young reporters - brilliant or hopelessly incompetent - I dreamed of the glamorous life of the foreign correspondent: prowling Vienna in a Burberry trench coat, speaking a dozen languages to dangerous women, narrowly escaping Sardinian bandits - the usual stuff that newspaper dreams are made of. ↗

— Russell Baker

#brilliant #coat #correspondent #dangerous #dozen

Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear. ↗

— Russell Baker

#hear #listen #once #while #you

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity. ↗

— Russell Baker

#live #probably #publicity #you

It's funny, in literature no one ever goes to the lavatory. ↗

— Tom Baker

#funny #goes #lavatory #literature

My natural instinct after doing something shameful is not to rush into the street boasting about it but to put on dark glasses and head for the next county, hoping nobody notices I've been in the neighborhood. ↗

— Russell Baker

#after #been #boasting #county #dark

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. ↗

— Russell Baker

#calls #closets #cockroaches #couple #grow

Newspaper people, once celebrated as founts of ribald humor and uncouth fun, have of late lost all their gaiety, and small wonder. ↗

— Russell Baker

#fun #gaiety #humor #late #lost

You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when there's a big photo opportunity for a really good cause. ↗

— Russell Baker

#big #camera #cause #feel #feel good

Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. ↗

— Russell Baker

#categories #classified #down #get #into

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately. ↗

— Russell Baker

#fortunately #just #old #people #say