Russell Baker

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. ↗

— Russell Baker

#children #grow #grow up #like #make

New York is the only city in the world where you can get run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian. ↗

— Russell Baker

#new-york-city

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong. ↗

— Russell Baker

#almost #always #best #dead #educated

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it. ↗

— Russell Baker

#insists #longer #loves #misery #nowadays

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity. ↗

— Russell Baker

#dismay #events #humanity #indecent #misfortune

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them. ↗

— Russell Baker

#before #children #curiosity #finally #know

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. ↗

— Russell Baker

#break #categories #classified #down #get

In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses. ↗

— Russell Baker

#masses #opiate

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. ↗

— Russell Baker

#enjoy #know #left #lot #more

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday. ↗

— Russell Baker

#because #bump #church #deciding #dump