#t

I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#finish #fit #get #go #good

I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#bar #council #even #high #high school

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#disposal #garbage #i #i do #out

Okay, so, when I was a kid, definitely the drawings and the illustration. Then I stopped in sixth grade or so. And then I started again when I was in my twenties. I really didn't progress since then, so the way I draw is the way I drew in sixth grade. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#definitely #draw #drawings #drew #grade

Large organization is loose organization. Nay, it would be almost as true to say that organization is always disorganization. ↗

— Gilbert K. Chesterton

#always #large #loose #nay #organization

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#apart #argue #car #different #driving

People only have so much attention. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#much #only #people

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#because #fun #funny #go #i

Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable; that's survival. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#choice #choosing #enjoyable #fun #like

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#always #bill #cartoonist #comedians #comedic