#tan

I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time. ↗

— Jim Varney

#audience #big #big time #comedy #die

Individuals have little opportunity to get elected to Parliament under the label of the government party... unless they are in good standing with the Prime Minister and pledged to be cooperative. ↗

— Stockwell Day

#elected #get #good #government #individuals

Israel cannot afford to stand against the entire world and be denounced as the aggressor. ↗

— Moshe Dayan

#against #aggressor #cannot #denounced #entire

Providing working Minnesotans with at least seven days of paid sick leave every year is the right thing to do to. It benefits our families and helps our businesses become more worker friendly and family friendly. ↗

— Mark Dayton

#benefits #businesses #days #every #families

Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#equality #helping #here #honesty #i

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#accountant #always #ask #child #i

The moral issue here is whether the United States Congress is going to stand in the way of science and preclude scientists from doing lifesaving research. ↗

— Rosa DeLauro

#doing #going #here #issue #moral

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#arena #awards #delicate #fill #funny

People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#after #around #asking #bathed #been

The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anybody else. You can be influenced by people. I was influenced by Steve Martin and Bob Newhart and Woody Allen, but I never tried to be someone else. I always tried to be myself. And the reason people are successful is they're unique. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#always #anybody #bob #copy #else