#tar

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends. ↗

— George Bernard Shaw

#friends #humor #vegetarianism #humor

If I shot an arrow and thought about an ass, would it surprise you if it hit Erik? ↗

— P.C. Cast

#stark #tempted #humor

For me it all started with two turntables and a mixer. ↗

— Paul Oakenfold

#mixer #started #turntables #two

You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister." "Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure." "I don't even know who my mother was," Jon said. "Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are." He favored Jon with a rueful grin. "Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs." And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#dwarfs #humor #jon-snow #king #sarcasm

EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY ↗

— T.H. White

#government #humor #totalitarianism #humor

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. ↗

— Steven Wright

#tarot #humor

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#star-wars #humor

The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #vegetarian #food

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. ↗

— James Beard

#gourmet #her #like #looks #tart

His tiny, naked butt disappeared into the stream as he cried, "Wheeeee! Balls out!" I think that's a rugby reference," Bertie said. "But don't quote me on that. ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#humor #mustardseed #humor