#tell

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! ↗

— Demetri Martin

#fat #spoon #tell #then #you

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#dude #ever #fine #gonna #i

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#apart #argue #car #different #driving

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#because #fun #funny #go #i

Buddhism has a very beautiful teaching that says the worst thing you can do to your soul is to tell someone their faith is wrong. ↗

— Ricky Martin

#buddhism #faith #says #someone #soul

It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ↗

— Joyce Maynard

#grow #i #i can #lives #much

To share our stories is not only a worthwhile endeavor for the storyteller, but for those who hear our stories and feel less alone because of it. ↗

— Joyce Maynard

#because #endeavor #feel #hear #less

I have stood on the front lines of the health care system as a doctor, patient and concerned parent. Those experiences have served as my guideposts throughout the struggle to reform America's health care system. And it's those same experiences that tell me that fear and election hysteria should not overshadow the reality of reform. ↗

— Jim McDermott

#care #concerned #doctor #election #experiences

I want to find someone on the earth so intelligent that he welcomes opinions which he condemns. ↗

— John Jay Chapman

#earth #find #i #intelligent #opinions

The way I become friends with somebody is a slow process. You can't just spill your guts and tell them everything about yourself and expect them to listen and understand you because you don't know them. It's the same thing with a relationship. ↗

— Leighton Meester

#because #become #everything #expect #friends