#tin

Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God. ↗

— Scott Dikkers

#atheism #childhood #humor #kids #parenting

I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor

Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#humor #lying #on-fiction #writing #humor

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #on-writing #wit #writing #humor

I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won’t kiss you on your neck again. So typical of him. No! You can’t ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance. I’m trying, he wrote back. But you won’t keep your distance from me. I didn’t dignify that with a response. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#aftermath #freaking-out #hickey #humor #kisses

Writer’s block is only a failure of the ego. ↗

— Norman Mailer

#writing #humor

Why?" She asked in a confused whisper. "Out of all the women in the world, why did you choose this mortal?" "Because fate drove me to you. ↗

— Charlotte Featherstone

#fate #love #relationships #love

But...what if I mistime it?" Gilan smiled widely. "Well, in that case, I'll probably lop your head off your shoulders." Horace and Gilan ↗

— John Flanagan

#horace #humor #ranger-s-apprentice #sword-fighting #humor

People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad. ↗

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

#writing #humor

so if you love him, why keep him waiting for 13 years?" "Because I was afraid. Afraid of not being worthy, afraid of not knowing how to love him, afraid of waking up one day and not loving him anymore. ↗

— Guillaume Musso

#love #waiting #love