#tire

Since my trips to Earth, I've only managed to assemble a few basics facts about humans, condensing them in to four, overall points: kids got Reese's, teens got recess, adults got recessions, and seniors got receding. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek-mythology #humor #mount-olympus #satire #valentines-day

Satire is enjoyable compensation for being forced to think. ↗

— Edgar Johnson

#satire #thinking #humor

She wore an A-line bridal gown with a V-shaped neckline while Apollo playing Bach's Air on the G string. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek #greek-mythology #humor #olympians #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians

Sex is mathematics. Individuality no longer an issue. What does intelligence signify? Define reason. Desire -- meaningless. Intellect is not a cure. Justice is dead. Fear, recrimination, innocence, sympathizing, guilt, waste, failure, grief, were things, emotions, that no one really felt any more. Reflection is useless, the world is senseless. Evil is its only permanence. God is not alive. Love cannot be trusted. Surface, surface, surface was all that anyone found meaning in...this was civilization as I saw it, colossal and jagged... ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#bret-easton-ellis #satire #intelligence

A man approaching retirement called the retirement office to inquire about his pension. Afterward, he was asked if his wife worked. “She’s worked all her life making me happy”, he replied. “Yes sir, but has she earned money to receive her pension?” “When we got married we agreed on an arrangement”, he said. “I would earn the living, and she would make the living worthwhile”. “Make the living worthwhile”…have we forgotten the very essence of that? Have we forgotten to live for someone else, that doing so IS what makes a living worthwhile? ↗

— Kelly Crawford

#living #marriage #retirement #life

Real life... Witches: Wiccan practitioners. Werewolves: rare strain of rabies. Zombies: Prions/Plague. Vampires: Hemophilia/Porphyria ↗

— Solange nicole

#humorous #monsters #real-life #satire #solange

Nature has certain mechanism to record all memories of every life being. ↗

— Toba Beta

#mechanism #memory #nature #record #universe

Truth flows from universal law, not personal views. ↗

— John Agno

#boomer-retirement #leadership-books #leadership-tips #life-signature #stress-management

But by what I have gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth. ↗

— Jonathan Swift

#nature

Though there is growing division among the Ukrainian military ranks as to loyalty in this revolution, the possibility of violence looms over the entire situation. ↗

— Bob Schaffer

#division #entire #growing #looms #loyalty