#tire

I got tired of different drum sounds so you buy different effects for more manipulation. ↗

— Ikue Mori

#different #drum #effects #got #i

I am fashionably unimpressed with the material world. I am moved by the beauty of aspiration, and I hope that I can elevate myself to the standards I have imposed on others. ↗

— Mike Corbett

#demons #heaven #hell #intelligent-humor #politics

I replied that England (the dear place of my nativity) was computed to produce three times the quantity of food, more than its inhabitants are able to consume, ... But, in order to feed the luxury and intemperance of the males, and the vanity of the females, we sent away the greatest part of our necessary things to other countries, from whence in return we brought the materials of diseases, folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves. Hence it follows of necessity that vast numbers of our people are compelled to seek their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, cheating, pimping, forswearing, flattering, suborning, forging, gaming, lying, fawning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, freethinking, ↗

— Jonathan Swift

#food

[On School Uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German. ↗

— George Carlin

#history #humor #satire #school #uniform

Bride, n. - A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#happiness #humor #marriage #matrimony #satire

Were you terrified, Murgatroyd?" Murgatroyd nodded eagerly. "There you go, girl: You're a terrorist. You make me twitchy, and under Article Forty-One of the 2000 Terrorism Bill, that's all I need. Time for some reasonable force, I think. ↗

— China Miéville

#satire #humor

Though firm, we are never too firm, though we love fun, we never have fun in a silly way that makes us appear ridiculous, unless that is our intent. ↗

— George Saunders

#humor #satire #humor

Justru karena cinta, kamu memelihara dirimu dan dirinya agar tetap mulia. Bila ia mendekat, tetaplah duduk. Karena itu yang menjaga emosi agar tak meletup. Bila ia menjauh, jangan dekati dia sebelum waktunya. Sabar itu jauh lebih istimewa. Atau kalau tak tahan lagi, segeralah datang ke rumah orang tuanya! Itu lebih mulia. ↗

— Ahmad Fuady

#romance #satire #wisdom #love

By the standards of a tourist strolling past looking for a quick lunch, the place was a dive. The sign on the window was small and easy to miss, and the antique feel of the place wasn't the prepackaged, old-shit-on-the-wall nostalgia that came with so many chain restaurants. The cafe was just old, and everything about it said old. But Jon liked it that way, if only because it kept the tourists away and spared him from hearing imported ignorance when there was plenty of local ignorance to go around. ↗

— Scott B. Pruden

#humorous-quotes #immaculate-deception #satire #science-fiction #science-fiction-comedy

If this is the best of possible worlds, what then are the others? ↗

— Voltaire

#optimism #satire #satire