#to

Things just happen, one after another. They don't care who knows. But history... ah, history is different. History has to be observed. Otherwise it's not history. It's just... well, things happening one after another. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#history #humor #humor

Everyone thinks I'm crazy, you know, because I can't tell them the truth; which is, that I'm driven crazy by all these thoughts, all these heads. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #humor

Cat, hmmm? From where I sit you look more like a Kitten." My head jerked around and I shot him an annoyed look. Oh, I was going to enjoy this, all right. "It's Cat," I repeated firmly. "Cat Raven." "Whatever you say, Kitten Tweedy. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat-crawfield #catherine-crawfield #funny #halfway-to-the-grave #humor

[On School Uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German. ↗

— George Carlin

#history #humor #satire #school #uniform

You'd tell the world what your best friend wore to sleep if you thought it made a good enough story. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #story #humor

Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#fiction #humorous #mystery #mystery-series #paranormal

I knew it! I knew it! ” “Are we allowed to speak yet?” said Ron grumpily. Hermione ignored him. “Nicolas Flamel,” she whispered dramatically, “is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone!” This didn’t have quite the effect she’d expected. “The what?” said Harry and Ron. “Oh, honestly, don’t you two read? Look — read that, there. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hermione-granger #humor #philosopher-s-stone #ron-weasley #humor

Hardy! Hardy —” He had come for me. I nearly lost it then. In the wild torrent of relief and gratitude, there were at least a dozen things I wanted to tell him at once. But the first thing that came out was a fervent, “I'm so sorry I didn't have sex with you.” I heard his low laugh. “I am too. But honey, there are a couple of maintenance guys with me who can hear every word we're saying.” “I don't care,” I said desperately. “Get me out of here and I swear I'll sleep with you. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#hardy #haven #humor #travises #humor

Why do humans never do as they're told? Someone should replace you all with robots. No, on second though, they shouldn't, bad idea. ↗

— Jonathan Morris

#doctor-who #humor #science-fiction #humor

Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little "Hey, what's up?" pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal ↗

— Christopher Moore

#christopher-moore #love