#toil

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humorous #sex #humor

Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden. ↗

— Bauvard

#confession #funny #humor #prostration #toilet

As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne. ↗

— Dan Brown

#dan-brown #funny #humor #robert-langdon #toilet

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #toilet-tissue #humor

I walk into rooms and I don't know why I'm there. I'm like, 'Why am I standing in front of the toilet now?' ↗

— Matthew Broderick

#front #i #into #know #like

It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline. ↗

— George Lindsey

#paper #poor #saw #tell #toilet

Toil without song is like a weary journey without an end. ↗

— H. P. Lovecraft

#journey #like #song #toil #weary

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. ↗

— John Stuart Mill

#any #being #day #human #human being

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#consistently #fall #get #go #leave

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper. ↗

— Billy Wilder

#falls #france #hands #money #paper