#u

We split a bottle of Norman cider. Not everybody sells Norman cider by the bottle. "Has a European feel" Susan said. "That sounds terrific" I said. "Can I have one?" Susan grinned at me. "How did you ever get to be so big without growing up?" she said. "Iron self-control" I said. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#humor #spenser #humor

Nothing of importance happened today. ↗

— King George III

#history #humor #humor

If the facts don't fit your theory, just find some new facts. ↗

— Susan Juby

#humor

The major difference between a relationship and a novel draft is that you hae control over your novel's outcome. ↗

— Jordan E. Rosenfeld

#humor

Do not pollute my perfectly acceptable figurative speech with irrelevant facts! ↗

— Courtney Milan

#irony #humor

This isn't sex." I blinked. "Oh. Then what is it?" "An emergency!" I started to argue and then thought twice about it. Considering what Mircea would do to Pritkin if he ever found out about this...Yeah. Emergency sounded good. ↗

— Karen Chance

#territorial #humor

Now then," he mused, "how does one fly a dragon? ↗

— Nicole Sager

#dragons #humor #nicole-sager #humor

The young man who appeared at the mouth of the alley was pale in the lamplight—paler even than he usually was, which was quite pale indeed. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Out of curiosity, when do I grow up and become a fullfledged man with a penis?” “When words like ‘hump day’ don’t make you giggle like a twelve-year-old,” he retorted, blowing smoke my way. “Wow, that long? ↗

— Dani Alexander

#growing-up #humor #hump-day #humor

There are seven and a half billion people on this earth - somebody's got to get sucked into a vortex. ↗

— Jenine Wallach

#sci-fi #humor