#u

I have a sixth sense for things I don't want to know and her manner pegged this as top of the scale ignorance-is-bliss material. ↗

— J.F. Lewis

#humor

Fearghus entered what he now considered her chamber, but immediately ducked the book flung at his head. Clearly she’d been waiting for him. And she was not happy. “He’s the one supposed to be helping me,” she roared at him. “Did you just throw a book at me? In my own den?” “Yes. And I’d throw it again!” Fearghus scratched his head in confusion. He’d never met a human brave enough—or stupid enough, depending on your point of view—to challenge him. “But,” he croaked out, amazed, “I’m a dragon.” “And I have tits. It means nothing to me! ↗

— G.A. Aiken

#humor #humor

Then there are some minor points that strike me as suggestive - for instance, the position of Mrs. Hubbard's sponge bag, the name of Mrs. Armstrong's mother, the detective methods of Mr. Hardman, the suggestion of Mr. MacQueen that Ratchett himself destroyed the charred note we found, Princess Dragomiroff's Christian name, and a grease spot on a Hungarian passport. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#humor #mystery #humor

In Canada, they speak two languages. Canadien: eh? And French: eh? ↗

— Matthew Harney

#humor

The sun is simple. A sword is simple. A storm is simple. Behind everything simple is a huge tail of complicated. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#life #truth #life

All through first and second and third hour, Eleanor rubbed her palm. Nothing happened. How could it be possible that there were that many never ending all in one place? And were they always there, or did they just flip on wherever they felt like it? Because, if they were always there, how did she manage to turn doorknobs without fainting? Maybe this was why so many people said it felt better to drive a stick shift. ↗

— Rainbow Rowell

#humor #rainbow-rowell #humor

Just curious how much I'm going for these days," Leo said. "I mean, I can understand not being as pricey as Percy or Jason, maybe...but am I worth, like, two Franks, or three Franks? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

I think I've had a shit, Shaya." The poor woman sounded distressed and mortified. "Have I, Grace? Don't lie to me." "No, you haven't." "I have, you're lying. Is she lying, Lydia?" "No," Lydia quickly said, "you haven't, I promise. ↗

— Suzanne Wright

#taryn #humor

The story she had told me was possible, but it was not believable. ↗

— Giacomo Casanova

#humor

What harm has he ever done to you?' 'You know what harm he's done me. He offended me with his terrible taste. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#humor