#um

Would you please just talk to me? Please?" Sally's voice was beginning to take on a high-pitched whine. "Oh, good grief. For the love of healthy ears everywhere, quit your belly aching," Jen snapped, the clothes in her hands growing more wrinkled by the second. "Sally, there is nothing to talk about, okay? It is what it is." Sally threw her hands up in the air as she exhaled loudly. "No, it is not what it is, whatever the hell that means. It's a whole freaking lot more complicated than 'it is what it is'. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#just-one-drop #love

While I was an honorable man in her eyes, she did not love me. But the minute she understood what I was, when she breathed the true and foul odor of my soul, love was born in her – for she does love me! Well, well! There is nothing real, then, except evil. ↗

— Octave Mirbeau

#human-nature #philosophy #love

Clary?” Jace tilted his head to the side, studying her face. “You do—you still love me, don’t you?” “I love Jace Lightwood,” she said. “I don’t know who you are. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#the-mortal-instruments #love

I felt like the blonde in every horror movie who hears a noise in the basement and goes to investigate alone. Sometimes you smell the stupid all around you, but you step in it anyway. ↗

— Ann Aguirre

#clichés #humor

Love is like a buffalo with butterfly wings, and I’m just the humble man in the jetpack trying to shoot it down with a bow and arrow.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bow #buffalo #butterfly #humble #humility

For native wit, I only chuckle in American comedy clubs. The jokes about reservations and alcoholism make me feel ashamed, but I don’t want to offend anybody. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #native-americans #funny

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#factory #funny #humor #kids #labor

You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants. ↗

— Eddie Izzard

#money #restaurant #salmon #humor

The Internet also makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to focus. One small break to look up exactly how almond milk is made, and four hours later I'm reading about the Donner Party and texting all my friends: DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE DONNER PARTY AND HOW MESSED UP THAT WAS? TEXT ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT! ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#humor

So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#mindy-kaling #humor