#um

Percy looked at his friends. “I’m getting tired of this guy’s shirt. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #i-can-t #jkahsalolololololol #funny

But then, shall I never get any older than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way -- never to be an old woman -- but then -- always to have lessons to learn! ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#humor

I have a computer, a vibrator, and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? " - Tabitha ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humorous #humor

I spent two hours trying to question reapers without sounding like I was questioning them. What do you think it says about us as a group, that every reaper I know is either irritable, egotistical, voyeuristic, or some combination of the three?" "That you fit in well? ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#humor

I'm the goddamn Batman. ↗

— Frank Miller

#humor #humor

If there is a thing I truly despise, it is being addressed as "dearie." When I write my magnum opus, A Treatise Upon All Poison, and come to "Cyanide," I am going to put under "Uses" the phrase "Particularly efficacious in the cure of those who call one 'Dearie. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#poison #humor

I look over at him. He stares straight ahead. "So," I say. "Golem, huh?" "I prefer the term 'Mineral-American. ↗

— D.D. Barant

#humor

You are all a lost generation," Gertrude Stein said to Hemingway. We weren't lost. We knew where we were, all right, but we wouldn't go home. Ours was the generation that stayed up all night. ↗

— James Thurber

#humor

I wear my cool on the inside; that's why my hands are always so cold. ↗

— Dia Reeves

#cool #humor #humor

I know you’re rolling your eyes at me,” he murmurs, and I hear the trace of humor in his voice. ↗

— E.L. James

#christian-grey #humor #rolling-eyes #humor