#um

Want me to flex my magic for you, baby? ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#humor #magic #nick-rvyves #the-demon-s-covenant #humor

Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#diesel #humor #humor

Fate," Blue replied, glowering at her mother, "is a very weighty word to throw around before breakfast. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#humor #humor

I think I might have blushed. Damn me. -Daemon ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor

Smacking his arm lightly, she leaned back. "And Adam is way nicer than his brother." "A rabid hyena is nicer than Andrew," he retorted. "When we were kids, he locked me in an old chest once. Left me there for hours. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor

Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humour #humor

Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor

Yes," I said. "My name is seven-five-nine-nine-three-nine-ex-dash-one. Junior. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor

Who's that little brunette?" Suzanne asked. "I hate little petite types. Gregory doesn't look right with someone petite. Little face, little hands, little dainty feet." "Big boobs," Beth said, glancing up. ↗

— Elizabeth Chandler

#gregory #humor #petite #suzanne #humor

Where are you going?” “To get a Coke!” “Would you—” “No! ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor