#un

She remembered Grace telling her about Lorcan's evasiveness when she'd first joined the Noctourne-his ability to speak without saying anything, to talk in riddles. He's a conundrum, thought Cheng Li. A walking, talking conundrum ↗

— Justin Somper

#conundrum #humor #vampirates #humor

I can’t chitchat and make breakfast at the same time. You could help, you know, instead of standing there like the Queen of England. Although you’re a lot better-looking. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #funny

Running ain't no bad thing. Leastways if you run in the right direction. ↗

— Mark Lawrence

#run #humor

Why's it so sunny?" she repeated. Zooey observed her rather narrowly. "I bring the sun wherever I go, buddy," he said. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#sun #humor

Wait until you see my socratic method, baby. ↗

— Cherrie Lynn

#humor #unleashed #humor

I believe there’s only one woman out there for every man, though I’ll be the first to admit how naïve it is to be a heterosexual nowadays. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #love #monogomy #funny

It took Pueblo a few seconds to take in his surroundings. The first thing he realised was that he felt bruised all over; the second was that his clothes were waterlogged, even more than before, from the quicksand; and the third, was that he had landed on his front and was lying on a large, uncomfortable stone. No, wait… In his disoriented state, he shifted his weight. The stone didn't move. He was lying on his own fucking erection. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#humor #humour #knocked-out #portals #pueblo

Whatever happens, we have got The Maxim gun, and they have not. ↗

— Hilaire Belloc

#force #gun #humor #might_makes_right #technology

You think Tide is better, or All?' 'Which has a prettier box?' I ask. 'I don't want a pretty box. I want a dude box.' Uh-huh,' I deadpan. 'You want a dude box of laundry detergent.' 'Yes, I do.' 'Good luck with that. ↗

— E. Lockhart

#humor #laundry-detergent #humor

Want to play hangman? asks Theophile, and I ache to tell him that I have enough on my plate playing quadriplegic. But my communication system disqualifies repartee: the keenest rapier grows dull and falls flat when it takes several minutes to thrust it home. By the time you strike, even you no longer understand what had seemed so witty before you started to dictate it, letter by letter. So the rule is to avoid impulsive sallies. It deprives conversation of its sparkle, all those gems you bat back and forth like a ball-and I count this forced lack of humor one of the great drawbacks of my condition. ↗

— Jean-Dominique Bauby

#conversation #locked-in-syndrome #repartee #communication