#up

Eight people show up. The emcee is warm, friendly, and about as funny as Shoah. I take the stage to the sound of, my hand to God, one person clapping once and only once, and then I start into my act. ↗

— Patton Oswalt

#hand-to-god #patton-oswalt #shoah #stand-up #funny

Kids need to open up to their parents. And parents should realize that when kids are pushing you away, that's the time to really step in. ↗

— Alexa Vega

#kids #need #open #parents #pushing

Sex in a dance is in the eyes of the beholder. I never thought my dances sexy. I suppose that's because I see myself with my face washed, and to me I look like a rabbit. ↗

— Gwen Verdon

#beholder #dance #dances #eyes #face

I've never gone out with a guy who is older than me by more than a couple years. Usually it's my age, a little bit older, or even a little bit younger. But not a 15- or 20-year difference. ↗

— Sofia Vergara

#bit #couple #difference #even #gone

For now I'm building up stories for the retirement home! ↗

— Carol Vorderman

#home #i #now #retirement #stories

If someone wants to transmit a high-quality service with no interruptions and 'guaranteed this, guaranteed that,' they should be willing to pay for that. ↗

— Edward Whitacre, Jr.

#high-quality #interruptions #pay #service #should

I'm a car fanatic and each morning I wake up with a smile on my face, whether I'm commentating on the Formula One or at Silver Hatch racetrack in Roary the Racing Car. ↗

— Murray Walker

#each #face #fanatic #formula #formula one

The sad part about our past is that religions, ironically enough, are responsible for creating the most destructive idea that has ever been visited upon the human race: the idea that there is such a thing as 'better.' ↗

— Neale Donald Walsch

#been #better #creating #destructive #enough

I must confess I took a couple or three jobs just for the money. ↗

— Jessica Walter

#couple #i #jobs #just #money

We are ever mindful the risks our troops face every day and the sacrifices made by the families and the communities that support them as those who have been removed from power seek to delay their inevitable defeat. ↗

— John Warner

#communities #day #defeat #delay #ever