#us

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt) ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

I like this world. I like drinking champagne. I like not smoking. I like Dutch people speaking Dutch. ↗

— John Green

#the-fault-in-our-stars

Die Wirkung eines solchen Hauses auf seinen Besitzer ist unverkennbar. […] Es ist ein gegenseitiger Austausch von Würde, Bedeutung und Kraft, und jegliche Schönheit (oder deren Mangel) spinnt ständig wie ein hin und her sausendes Weberschiffchen von einem zum anderen geheime Fäden. Man schneide die Fäden durch, trenne den Menschen von dem, was von Rechts wegen sein Eigen und bezeichnend für ihn ist, und was zurück bleibt, ist ein seltsames Wesen, halb Erfolg und halb Versagen, wie die Spinne ohne Netz, das nie mehr sein wird, was es war, wenn ihm nicht alle seine Würden und Einkünfte zurück gegeben werden. ↗

— Theodore Dreiser

#home

I don't need new boots I got bluchers back down home. Eff the effing bluchers I'll buy you new adjectival effing elastic sided boots. ↗

— Peter Carey

#profanity #home

The problem with at-home IQ tests is that too many people wouldn't understand the results. Calling customer service is a bad sign. ↗

— Iimani David

#humorous #home

i haf the sownd of more words butt i coud not remember the shaps of the letters. ↗

— Karen Russell

#karen-russell #home

Granana lives on the other side of the island. She's eighty-four, I'm twelve, and Wallow's fourteen, so it's a little ambiguous as to who's babysitting whom. ↗

— Karen Russell

#karen-russell #home

Isabelle snorted, "All the boys are guy. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon." "You noticed," said Simon. "I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual," added Magnus. "Please never say those words in front of my parents," said Alec. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#bisexual #cassandra-clare #city-of-lost-souls #funny #gay

It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor