#us

It may have been observed that there is no regular path for getting out of love as there is for getting in. Some people look upon marriage as a short cut that way, but it has been known to fail. ↗

— Thomas Hardy

#humor

But if anyone so much as threatened them because of what Kaia had once done, she would turn the Slumber Party Massacre into Blood, Bath and Beyond, a documentary by Kaia Skyhawk. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor

Don't eat earwax avoid roasted cabbage and look on the bright side of life -Angela ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#humor

The werewolf pointed at a bench next to the door into the Kirkwoods’ tomb. “Sit. Wait.” Did I mention werewolves were chatty? ↗

— Mindee Arnett

#just-kidding-not-really #supernatural #humor

Asshole," Ephraim muttered as he turned back around. Chris chuckeled. "Is that really any way to talk to your favorite child?" "You're not my favorite," Ephraim argued, but they both knew that was bullshit. "I don't have any favorites." "Puhlease," Chris said. "You fucking adore me... ↗

— R.L. Mathewson

#humor

'Oh- hey, there," he said. He was shorter than me, pudgy with salt-and-pepper hair that always seemed to be in need of a good conditioning. And he always wore sweatpants and T-shirts that had seen more abuse than narcotics. But he was a good landlord. When my heater stopped working in mid-December, it took him only two weeks to get it fixed. Of course, it took me knocking on his door in need of a warm place to sleep to get it that way, but one night on his sofa, where I'd suddenly developed night terrors and epilepsy, and that puppy was running like a Mercedes the next day. It was awesome. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

Hold on to your friends. Resist - or move on Be mad, be rash Smoke and explode Sell all of your clothes Just bear in mind: There just might come a time When you need some friends ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

Look at you, all Rocky Horror Picture Ho. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#humor

As in music, when we hear the crescendo building, suddenly if the music stops, we begin to hear the silence as part of the music. ↗

— Chögyam Trungpa

#enlightenment #humor #music #silence #silent-music

I stamped, certified, and lipsticked my life in a package sent through Priority Mail directly to the devil herself...and there's no turning back. ↗

— Amy Holder

#humor