#use

If there's a sexier sound on this planet than the person you're in love with cooing over the crepes you made for him, I don't know what it is. ↗

— Julie Powell

#funny #spouses #food

Vampires should never say Uh-Oh!! ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#vampire

Through countless births in the cycle of existence I have run, not finding although seeking the builder of this house; and again and again I faced the suffering of new birth. Oh housebuilder! Now you are seen. You shall not build a house again for me. All your beams are broken, the ridgepole is shattered. The mind has become freed from conditioning: the end of craving has been reached. ↗

— Gautama Buddha

#deus #house #buddhism

Instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you could play Brick, Blanket, Action Fingers, in which brick cripples action fingers, blanket smothers brick and action fingers beats blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

Walking down the beach alone at night when my headband flashlight has run out of batteries, and hearing sailors’ cries for help as their boats run up against the rocky coastline, and then getting a ticket from a policeman for improper lighthouse navigation behavior ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny-and-random #lighthouse #shipwreck #funny

I didn't do anything wrong. I swear.' He grunted. 'Like I've never heard that before. Funny, but I expected a little more originality from Moira's daughter.' 'Yeah, well, the dog ate my notebook with all my good excuses. ↗

— Mindee Arnett

#funny #humorous #quote #funny

Information overload (on all levels) is exactly WHY you need an "ignore list". It has never been more important to be able to say "No ↗

— Mani S. Sivasubramanian

#how-to-focus #saying-no #stay-focused #procrastination

He had seen me several times, and had intended to call on me long before, but a peculiar combination of circumstances had prevented it. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#procrastination #procrastination

It is the selfish parents who are to blame. Pay attention, be involved in your children’s lives. They are your legacy, your only hope. ↗

— Aaron B. Powell

#child-abuse #child-violence #rage #bullying

It is, after all, far too easy to pinch and kick the bizarre Mormon Church; to say it's ripe for satire and parody is to say a Catholic schoolgirl is ripe for debauchery. It's like shooting polygamist fish in a barrel of coffee. ↗

— Mark Morford

#child-abuse #mormonism #catholicism