#vic

All of my best friends are dead people. Someday I've got to figure out how that happened. ↗

— Claudia Gray

#friends #funny #random #vic #funny

I may not always be right, but when I am, I admit it ↗

— Ken Murray

#funny #funny

Let every man shovel out his own snow, and the whole city will be passable," said Gamache. Seeing Beauvoir's puzzled expression he added, "Emerson." "Lake and Palmer?" "Ralph and Waldo. ↗

— Louise Penny

#funny #misattributed #neighborliness #ralph-waldo-emerson #snow

It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction. ↗

— Woody Allen

#christina #vicky #funny

You should fight like hell if you get attacked on the street, or in your home. The old thinking was, especially with women, submit, give in, maybe the guy will give you a break and not kill you. Now, maybe you will get raped, but least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you didn't just lie down and take it. You don't know how many home-invasion scenes we walk in on where the people are sitting there all tied up and all dead. There'll be four, five people, a family, mayb...more "You should fight like hell if you get attacked on the street, or in your home. The old thinking was, especially with women, submit, give in, maybe the guy will give you a break and not kill you. Now, maybe you will get raped, but least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you didn't just lie down and take it. You don't know how many home-invasion scenes we walk in on where the people are sitting there all tied up and all dead. There'll be four, five people, a family, maybe some guests: enough to put up a fight. And you know they let themselves get tied up. You just know the guys said, 'We just want to tie you up. We won't hurt you.' You'd think the people would realize — why do they want to tie us up if they don't want to hurt us? But they bought it. It always gives us a little chuckle. ↗

— Connie Fletcher

#true-crime #family

Here's the last thing that occurs to me as Sarah recedes in the rearview mirror, slamming out of the car, jogging across the parking lot: If you're one tardy away from missing out on a big competition, you should probably make your coffee at home. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#time-management #home

The only good thing to do with good advice is pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#epigram #humor #humor

Victorian rigidities were such that ladies were not even allowed to blow out candles in mixed company, as that required them to pucker their lips suggestively. They could not say that they were going "to bed"--that planted too stimulating an image--but merely that they were "retiring." It became effectively impossible to discuss clothing in even a clinical sense without resort to euphemisms. Trousers became "nether integuments" or simply "inexpressibles" and underwear was "linen." Women could refer among themselves to petticoats or, in hushed tones, stockings, but could mention almost nothing else that brushed bare flesh. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#modesty #underwear #victorian-era #home

I’m not like her. I don’t steal people.” Mr. Tibbalt watched her, saying nothing. The silence made Victoria bristle. “Well, I don’t. ↗

— Claire Legrand

#similarities #victoria-wright #home

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. ↗

— Bill Vaughan

#army #civilian #draft #everyone #life