#w

Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?" All the time. ↗

— Wendy Mass

#funny #humor #jeremy-fink #jetsam #keys

You…you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it." "I do like it," he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. "I love it." And then he took me to the bed. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #rose-hathaway #sweet #funny

You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#writing #funny

Is this Clarissa Fray?" The voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable. Clary twirled the phone cord nervously around her finger. "Yeees?" "Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I"m afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-" "SIMON!" Clary held the phone away from her ear as he cracked up laughing. "That is so not funny!" "Sure it is. You just don't see the humor." "Jerk." Clary sighed, leaning up against the wall. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #joke #phone #simon-lewis #tease

I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relationships. Ask yourself two questions: How many people do I know, and how much ransom money could I get for each one? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #grades #humor #iq #kidnap

Love, no matter how it’s expressed, is still love. We all have flaws, and so our love will be flawed. But that doesn’t diminish it. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#love #love

Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. ↗

— Gene Fowler

#humor

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #humour #work #writing #humor

Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could. ↗

— Charles J. Sykes

#nerd #nerds #work #humor

I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead." "Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#demons #growing-up #humor #jace-wayland #luke