#wi

I wish I knew what you were talking about," she returned. "Where's the pin?" "Pin?" "Yes. Pin. To fasten the diaper. The kid can't hold the thing up with two hands. ↗

— Emma Goldrick

#funny

Good so be would you if, duff plum of helping second A," said the Bursar. The table fell silent. "Did anyone understand that?" said Ridcully. The Bursar was not technically insane. He had passed through the rapids of insanity som time previously, and was now sculling around in some peaceful pool on the other side. He was quite often coherent, although not by normal human standards. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny #insane #wizards #funny

A blanket is a sanctuary, a place where a man can enjoy his banana in peace. I laid a few grapes on grandma’s headstone, and I remembered her as she was, when she first died. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick would make a great lead character in an urban drama, because with 12 edges, a brick would be the edgiest character on TV by two sides.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick is a good object to hide a house key under. No burglar will be able to get to your key, especially if you hide it under the first brick the mason’s lay when constructing your house. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be substituted in for Rhode Island as a US state, because they’re roughly the same size, the have the same population (the brick may have one less person), and Grandma Kintz makes the best Excuse Soup in the entire state.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Did you notice anything funny about Edwart in class? I think I love him,” I said nonchalantly. “Well, he did look kind of angry when you fell and disconnected his computer charger.” So it wasn’t all in my mind; others had noticed Edwart’s awareness of me. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #funny

I Take Life Very Seriously: One Joke At A Time. ↗

— Sandra Chami Kassis

#life #philosophy #quotes #truth #wisdom-inspirational

Nix and Emma: 'Looks like you just found a new talent.' 'Great. Why couldn't I be good at underwater origami or something? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #nix-the-ever-knowing #nucking-futs-nix #funny

A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, because you really bummed me out, man.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny