#wodehouse

I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #sherlock-holmes #wodehouse #wooster #imagination

As a rule, you see, I'm not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across premieval swamps and Uncle James's letter about Cousin Mabel's peculiar behaviour is being shot round the family circle ('Please read this carefully and send it on Jane') the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor - and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#wodehouse #family

Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#comedy #english #humor #jello #jelly

you ever have that feeling when you step down onto a footstep that isn't there? ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#wodehouse #humor

[He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face; an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#religion

Filled with a coward rage that dares to burn but does not dare to blaze, Lord Emsworth coughed a cough that was undisguisedly a bronchial white flag. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#wodehouse #humor

It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned in despatches, and you cringe like a salted snail at the thought of appearing as Santa Claus before an audience of charming children who wouldn't hurt a fly. It's enough to make an aunt turn her face to the wall and give up the struggle. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humorous #wodehouse #change