#y

One does not have humor. It has you. ↗

— Larry Gelbart

#humor #humor

Don't you see Blaynie." Mitch put his arm around her shoulders. "You're like an illegitimate little sister that I never wanted. ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#shelly-laurenston #humor

My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #men #poetry #humor

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#artemis-fowl-humor #funny #relativity #time-travel #funny

Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..." ... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. "Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#foaly #holly #humor #humor

Little Cinder Girl, they can't understand you. You rise from the as-heap in a blaze and only then do they recognize you as their one true love. While you pray beneath your mother's tree you carrve a phoenix into your palm wth aa hazel twig and coal; every night she devours more of you. You used to believe in angels. Now you believe in the makeover; if you can't get the grime off your face and your foot into a size six heel who will ever bother to notice you? The kettle and the broom sear in your grasp, snap into fragments. The turtledoves sing, "There's blood within the shoe." You deserve the palace, you think, as you signal the pigeons to attack, approve the barrel filled with red-hot nails. Its great hearth beckons, and the prince's flag rises crimson in the angry sun. He will love you for the heat you generate, for the flames you ignite around you, though he encase your tiny feet in glass to keep them from scorching the ground. ↗

— Jeannine Hall Gailey

#love

Crouched on the roof between BEx and Liz, I wasn't a girl who had just broken up with her boyfriend; I looked at my watch and check my gear instead of crying. I had a mission objective and not a broken heart. ↗

— Ally Carter

#breaking-up #romance #spies #teen-spies #love

Si la cursilería fuera un pecado, yo cada noche me ganaría el infierno. ↗

— Xavier Velasco

#cynicism #humor #humor

I've barely said five words to you. What indication could you possibly have that I am a Yankee?" "Well, we could start with the words 'what indication.' Someone from south of the Mason-Dixon would have said, 'Who the hell are you calling a Yankee?' Then we would have fought. ↗

— Jana Deleon

#south #yankee #humor

If everyone wants to be somebody, I want to be somebody else ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #philosophy #humor