#z

Do not do that again," he said stiffly. "Don't kiss me back then," I retorted. He stared at me for what seemed like forever. "I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control." "You're doing a great job," I said bitterly. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #zen-lessons #humor

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. ↗

— Mark Twain

#savages #humor

I love you," she sobbed, rubbing her hands over his face, his hair, his chest, making sure he was solid and real. "I love you, and I thought you were dead. I couldn't bear it. I thought I would die too." "I'd walk through fire for you," he rasped, his voice hoarse and broken. "I have walked through fire for you. ↗

— Elizabeth Hoyt

#lazarussgextraordinaire #temperance #wicked-intensions #love

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing. ↗

— Robert E. Howard

#civilized #general #having #know #men

Two hundred Romans, and no one’s got a pen? Never mind!" He slung his M16 onto his back and pulled out a hand grenade. There were many screaming Romans. Then the hand grenade morphed into a ballpoint pen, and Mars began to write. Frank looked at Percy with wide eyes. He mouthed: Can your sword do grenade form? Percy mouthed back, No. Shut up. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#frank-zhang #heroes-of-olympus #humor #mars #percy-jackson

She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. ↗

— Jane Austen

#love #mr-darcy #humor

Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?" she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet. "I'm dying of boredom," Howl said pathetically. "Or maybe just dying. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#howl-pendragon #humor #insuferable #lazy #sophie-hatter

I’m on a government watch list. But I’m not interested, because government watches only work twenty minutes out of every hour.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#efficiency #entitled #entitlement #funny #government

Sometimes when it looks like I'm deep in thought I'm just trying not to have a conversation with people. ↗

— Pete Wentz

#humor #pete #thought #wentz #humor

I'm the Super-sized McShizzle, man!" Leo said. "I'm Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #leo-valdez #narissus #nymphs #humor