#zombie

So you killed him with what now?" "I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy. ↗

— Jesse Petersen

#zombies #humor

Alice is fictional. This isn't. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#dark-humor #group-think #groupthink #lady-gaga #mad-magazine

Beth from accounting is just sitting in her car eating spaghetti. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#humor #zombies #humor

I think I remember what love was like before. There were complex emotional and biological factors. We had elaborate tests to pass, connections to forge, ups and downs and tears and whirlwinds. It was an ordeal, an exercise in agony, but it was alive. The new love is simpler. Easier. But small. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#humor #love #zombies #love

Then I had another one of my well-researched epiphanies. His constant use of Purell, his love of video games, his lack of friends, planet gazing, and flail-run. “You’re a zombie,” I gasped. “No. I’m not,” he said. I went back to the vampire theory. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #vampires #zombies

The more we lose, the more we become the survivors. ↗

— Carrie Ryan

#life

I would like my life to be a movie so I could cut to a montage. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#music #zombies #life

This is the moment I have dreaded, the very reason why we kept running, even when it seemed hopeless. We all seemed to believe if we kept running, we would never die. But what exactly had we been hoping to find in the end? A magical place where the infection hadn't spread? A castle surrounded by gumdrops and cotton candy? ↗

— Jen Naumann

#paranormal #zombies #life

His question is pretty dangerous for me to try to answer, so I don’t—it continues to hang out there like the stained underwear at a slumber party that goes unclaimed. ↗

— Jen Naumann

#humorous-quotations #ya #young-adult-fiction #zombies #life

She sticks to the rules, because it's all she's got. It's like her feelings dried up and they were replaced with a pile of useless laws. Like my appendix. Don't know what I need it for, but it's still there. ↗

— Monica Valentinelli

#zombies #zombies-life #life